Sunday, October 06, 2002

Cigarettes and beer, chips and nuts


Had a mad day, some breakfast followed by arguments, slowly and carefully almost surgically ensuring all the important issues were avoided. It's a motif ...
My lungs are heavy with tar and ash but tonight beer is my friend, I am whole and satisfied. I feel fresh minted and full of possibility I'm biting my toes, I'm curled in a fetal position, I'm floating on a warm sea ... a soft red glow.

It should be said here that Flogging Molly rock!





Saturday, October 05, 2002

Mental Boy


Once, not so long ago words would clearly resolve themselves in my mind. Now older and self conscious listening to the noise is harder. In the same way a child comes to realise her fridge drawings aren't a work of art, well, needless to say It's been a while since I picked up a crayon. I'm hoping this blog will be an antidote to that, a cure for the spectre of self censorship. Even now, as I read back through the previous sentences my eye catches a clumsy turn of phrase or a place where the idea could be refined ... itchy fingers.
This morning was slow to spin into view, a snatch of Video hits, angry light through blinds ripped aside by the musings of my cat. It wasn't long before I felt the subtle and not so subtle pressures of those in orbit ... wanting, wanting, wanting. Even the slightest expectation is a terrible scab, itchy and painful.
It seems I have disappointed many this past week, some are faster to boil than others. My initial instinct was to try to measure the collateral loss of letting some people go keeping others on. This process is not nearly as clinical as it sounds.

*Scrubs Hands*



Friday, October 04, 2002

Dawn


It's late or early, depending on your point of view. I'm up randomly browsing p0rn and the blogs of people I'll never meet.
At some other time I might have had something interesting to say ... but I am worn thin.